And two sad mice / chew up your bed

I am feeling at peace with the world right now, perhaps brought out by this self imposed solitude and giving ol’ Bonnie “Prince” Billy’s 2006 release another go. Perhaps it is the fact that it is warm outside again, and with it a false sense that things are going to be ok.

I especially like the imagery of the third verse of this song:
When the fever hits your forehead¬† / and two sad mice chew up your bed / and you call on God / but God is dead…

Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy: Love Comes To Me

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What day is it again?

So last night’s cryptic post about the poo smell turned out to be much, much worse than you, or I, could ever have dreamt. I will refrain from the gory gory’s, but use your imagination and I guarantee you that it was worse. Traumatized.

Trust me, you really don’t want to know.

I got to school this morning with that sick “pre-getting-your-test-back” dread, and moments later I was on top of the world…..85%! This is good. I think I may be able to pull off an A- in the class, and this is better than I could have hoped (or cared) for.

I still say “fuck stats,” but with a smug sense of saying it because I really hate it and not because I am doing terrible in it.

It seems as well that this blog is starting to grow legs – I had a record setting day, with almost 500 unique views today alone (all of which are going to one post, the Simpson’s grad studen’t clips, and not my award winning musings on life, love and a statistics text book). I also made it onto wordpress’s “Blogs of the Day” list, coming in at a decent 86th place. It’s gonna be hard to not feel sad once all these new visitors have gone from whence they came. To be honest, I feel a little cheap from the whole thing.

You got the touch! You got the power! (from the Transformer’s movie)

One time…

I was at my cousins house once whan I was little, and their house always smelled funny (there were 9 kids, so this fact is not surprising). This one time I went there, and it was the worst smell you could imagine. It turned out that a hamster had got loose and then died in some heating vent. When the heat came on, the smell was wafted throughout the entire house.

I am at work, and it smells really bad. Except, instead of a hamster, it smells like someone took a dump in the register.

I am not a happy camper right now.

Extreme Cold Edition

This is from the Weather Network’s warning for Calgary and Southern Alberta. Note the apocalyptic ALL CAPS that they use, SO YOU KNOW THAT THEY ARE NOT MESSING AROUND:

THE STATIONARY YUKON HIGH WHICH BROUGHT FRIGID CONDITIONS TO MUCH OF ALBERTA REMAINS ENTRENCHED OVER WESTERN CANADA. NORTHWESTERLY OUTFLOW WINDS FROM THIS HIGH OVER CENTRAL AND SOUTHERN ALBERTA ARE EXPECTED TO PRODUCE EXTREME WIND CHILL VALUES AFTER SUNSET AND INTO WEDNESDAY MORNING. WIND CHILL VALUES OF MINUS 40 TO MINUS 45 ARE FORECAST FOR THE ABOVE MENTIONED WARNING REGIONS. LEASE REFER TO THE LATEST PUBLIC FORECASTS FOR FURTHER DETAILS.

My drive up was a little disconcerting, playing out like a scene from Mad Max (exchanging the extreme heat with extreme cold, of course) with all these frozen cars along the side of the road. After Friday’s events, I was feeling ultra paranoid that this could be me, and I drove with the wheel tightly gripped the whole way. Because, you see, this is the biggest problem with all those other poor bastards – they were not gripping their steering wheels tight enough! It makes a huge difference.

In which John Hodgman reads 700 Hobo Names

I love this: 700 Hobo Names (be sure to check out the illustrations while you’re at it!)

On my travels between Calgary and Deathbridge, I have been listening to an audio copy of John Hodgman’s The Areas of My Expertise. When I am done with it, you can borrow it if you like!

The full title of this book is:

An Almanac of Complete World Knowledge Compiled with Instructive Annotation and Arranged in Useful Order by Me, John Hodgman, a Professional Writer, in the Areas of My Expertise, which Include: Matters Historical; Matters Literary; Matters Cryptozoological; Hobo Matters; Food, Drink, & Cheese (a Kind of Food); Squirrels & Lobsters & Eels; Haircuts; Utopia; What Will Happen in the Future; and Most Other Subjects; Illustrated with a Reasonable Number of Tables and Figures, and Featuring the Best of “Were You Aware of It?”, John Hodgman’s Long-Running Newspaper Novelty Column of Strange Facts and Oddities of the Bizarre

I find myself chuckling a lot, and does a good job at passing the time quickly on these long, tedious drives (for example, in reference to only having two references to sports, Hogman deadpans “for more information on sports, turn everywhere else in our society”).

I am out the door, and I am going to try not to crash my car that I just spent $2246.91 on. Or maybe I will, because I just spent $2246.91 to fix my car.