Extreme Cold Edition

This is from the Weather Network’s warning for Calgary and Southern Alberta. Note the apocalyptic ALL CAPS that they use, SO YOU KNOW THAT THEY ARE NOT MESSING AROUND:

THE STATIONARY YUKON HIGH WHICH BROUGHT FRIGID CONDITIONS TO MUCH OF ALBERTA REMAINS ENTRENCHED OVER WESTERN CANADA. NORTHWESTERLY OUTFLOW WINDS FROM THIS HIGH OVER CENTRAL AND SOUTHERN ALBERTA ARE EXPECTED TO PRODUCE EXTREME WIND CHILL VALUES AFTER SUNSET AND INTO WEDNESDAY MORNING. WIND CHILL VALUES OF MINUS 40 TO MINUS 45 ARE FORECAST FOR THE ABOVE MENTIONED WARNING REGIONS. LEASE REFER TO THE LATEST PUBLIC FORECASTS FOR FURTHER DETAILS.

My drive up was a little disconcerting, playing out like a scene from Mad Max (exchanging the extreme heat with extreme cold, of course) with all these frozen cars along the side of the road. After Friday’s events, I was feeling ultra paranoid that this could be me, and I drove with the wheel tightly gripped the whole way. Because, you see, this is the biggest problem with all those other poor bastards – they were not gripping their steering wheels tight enough! It makes a huge difference.

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7 thoughts on “Extreme Cold Edition

  1. Ya I love freezing my face off each day walking to and from the parking lot.
    If only they invented some sort of device I could wear on my head.

    No seriously, I don’t own a touque.

  2. Full Face touque = belaclava! They are terrifying and make those that wear them look like bank robbers. Marshal wears one with SKI GOGGLES when he rides his bike in this weather. Nightmarish.

  3. It’s a BAlaclava, Leo! I thought you were a spelling Bee wizard!

    When I lived in Melbourne their was an area called Balaclava, and no one there knew it was also the name of the bankrobber’s touque, since of course they have no use for such things, the warm wathered bastards! If a balaclava was an umbrella or some kind of tiny g-string bathingsuit, they would all know it.

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