Motor away

I’m sitting here, trying to write the best paper that has ever been written on the subject of interviewing people online, and some a-hole has been running this noisy/shitty generator right outside my window for what seems like forever, but has possibly only been like an hour or so. It is driving me insane. It keeps revving in sporadic bursts, so the noise isn’t constant and it sounds as if it is about to sputter out, but then it will kick in again. Thinking about going outside and just turning it off.

This whole apartment (or for my Calgarian readers, “condo”) living thing has been really bumming me out lately, what with the constant noise (my favourite: Halo 3 guy upstairs who plays with his subwoofer cranked all night long!). Actually, as we speak, the apartment owners are re-siding these buildings, so I am sure this will be a “condo” soon enough. Same shitty experience, but you will also have the priveledge of paying taxes, condo fees and utilities! On the flip-side, you can paint the walls whatever colour you want!

Update: You should never try to turn off a generator that isn’t yours, or you might get yelled at. It is also not a good idea to inquire “is there any way to make this noise any more annoying?”

Update 2: Remember that scene in High Fidelity, where John Cusack imagines bludgeoning his ex-girlfriends new “lover” to death with a telephone? That is me right now (but with the generator, and not a human being), as we move into the third hour of intense “MRRRRRRRRRrrrRRrrrRRRRrrrrrRRRRrRrRRRrrRrRrRrRRrRrrrrRRRrrrr *sputter sputter* RRRRAAAAAARRRRRRRRRAAAAAARRRRRRAAAR”

Update 3: Number of times this noise has made me cry real tears: 3.4

Update 4: I am either dead, or the noise has stopped…. IT HAS STOPPED!!! THE NOISE HAS STOPPED!!!!!!!! WWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Update 5: It feelt so quiet for a minute there, yet the absence of “MRRRRRRRRRrrrRRrrrRRRRrrrrrRRRRrRrRRRrrRrRrRrRRrRrrrrRRRrrrr *sputter sputter* RRRRAAAAAARRRRRRRRRAAAAAARRRRRRAAAR” has revealed the equally as sinister “KA KA KA KA KA BWAAAAMP! KA KA KA KA KA! KAAAAAKAKAKAKA! BOOOOOM!” of Halo 3 guy upstairs. I think I am going to go start a fight with him.

Update 6: Just when I was getting back into the “zone,” guess who comes back to fire up the ‘ol generator? Apparently this guy takes 1.5 hour lunch breaks. I am currently looking for the company he works for so I can send an anonymous email to his boss. “MRRRRRRRRRrrrRRrrrRRRRrrrrrRRRRrRrRRRrrRrRrRrRRrRrrrrRRRrrrr *sputter sputter* RRRRAAAAAARRRRRRRRRAAAAAARRRRRRAAAR”

I lifted the veil to see nature’s trickery revealed as pure shit

October brings with it the general malaise that I know we are all feeling today. Everything is curling up. Everyone is winding down, preparing for Winter. Again? Gahhh. No thanks.

Beautiful colours! Crisp air! It’s “just right” outside. Often, when it comes up in polite conversation, I can be found saying that “I love fall” (but if you know me, you know that I work in the extremes of “Love” “Favourite” “Hate” “Worst.” Dearest reader, its the only way I can see in colour. Even if those colours are only blue and red). If I have said this to you in polite conversation, I apologize but I was lying. Just trying to convince myself, you see.

Truth is, I find the whole affair to be terribly depressing. This whole changing season thing is just not for me.

I will give you this: I ocassionally enjoy the trickery of fall. I never notice the changing leaves until it is way too late (they always change at night, when I am asleep). Then, one day I will say to myself (or whomever is sitting beside me) “Hey, when did THAT happen?” To which said person will reply “I know, hey?”  Wash, rinse, repeat.

I also ocassionally enjoy this feeling. This feeling, as I stated above,  of general malaise. I like to wallow in it from time to time. I don’t want to live there (poor thing), but it gives me an excuse to play those records. To feel introspective. To take stock of the canned goods.

And if you’ve made it this far, dear reader. Thanks. For reading this, for coming here from time to time. You are more than a statistic to me.