1 After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Paul went to look at the tomb where Paul’s iPod was lain to rest.
2 There was a violent earthquake, for an iPod angel came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it.
3 Its appearance was like lightning, and its plastic covering was white as snow.
4 The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.
5 The iPod angel said to Paul, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Paul’s iPod, who stopped working.
6 It is not here; it has risen, just as it said. Come and see the place where he lay.
7 Then go quickly and tell your disciples: ‘My iPod has risen from the dead and is going with me into Calgary. There you will see it.’ Now I have told you.”
8 So the Paul hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples.
9 Suddenly Paul’s iPod met him. “Greetings,” it said. Paul came to it, clasped its shiny metal exterior and worshiped it.
10 Then Paul’s iPod said to him, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Calgary; there they will see me.”