Shit I hate: Movies of 2006 Edition

I have been going through year end movie lists this week, “aquiring” them, and binging the good life.

Of the half dozen or so movies that I have seen in the last week, I can highly reccomend that you check out “Half Nelson,” “United 93,” and “The Proposition.”

Dear reader, I could waste precious energy heaping praise on these quality moving pictures, but as you are aware, I am preserving my brain cells for the maration four months ahead of me.

A self-truth is that I tend to like movies that I watch. That is possibly because I have a half-decent “bullshit” detector that allows me to steer clear of bad movies… though sometimes the “bullshit” detector doesn’t go off until after I have paid my cash and it is too late.

Thus, a list of the movies that I hated the most this year.

Click: What the hell was I expecting? Mr. Sandler, the last thing I need from you are “life lessons” about “what is important.” You just stole $10 out of my pocket; eat glass and die.

Poseideon: I will admit to having a soft spot for the original (Red Buttons!!), but this amounted to two hours of climbing… and little else. Booooo!!!!!

X-Men 3: The Last Stand: I HATED this movie. The first two were good, and then this new director comes along and decides the best way to proceed is to KILL OFF every single major character, one by one, FOR NO REASON!

The DaVinci Code: “You are the last living decedent… OF JESUS CHRIST.” If I hear one more person tell me that they are a “History buff” because they “like Dan Brown novels” I will go postal.

Date Movie: I went with a group of people thinking this would be a “so bad it’s good” movie, and it turned out to be “too bad to be anything but torture.”

Hostel: Though I can appreciate a good horror film, this movie made me feel bad about being a human. Ugh. Humans suck.

Superman Returns: What a huge disappointment this was. Tepid “by-the-numbers” CGI-fest.

Mission Impossible 3: There is a scene where Tom Cruise is running very fast for about ten minutes, really fast. This visual produced laughter from the audience. Enough said.

Flags of Our Fathers: American’s are so brave, so patriotic; so terribly boring.

Blood Diamond: Feel good about the white guy who just slaughtered a dozen black militia children so he could get his hands on a diamond! Yesssss! Feels good to be whitey, moraly superior even when he isn’t.

What were your “most hated” films of 2006?

2 thoughts on “Shit I hate: Movies of 2006 Edition

  1. My most hated movies of 2006 were “Half Nelson,” “United 93,” and “The Proposition.”

    Just kidding.

    Ice Age 2 pretty much sucked though. Or was that last year? Still sucks anyways.

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