This has to be seen to be believed. . .
Bono is rolling over in his grave right now. Poor Bono, killed in his sleep ten years ago by a shape shifting alien who continues to pretend to be Bono. Only pure white children can see the truth, but alienbono threatens to do the same to their parents if they rat him out. . .
I worked for about three years (give or take) at a major national bank (which may be from Nova Scotia), and it is precisely this form of insidious lameness that made me rethink my career-choice. This bankerdrone is me if I had stuck with it. Both my parents and ultra-nicest-guy-on-the-planet-brother-in-law work in this bank, and so I won’t run it down too much (I will say that Banker’s hours are the best ever).
When I was a banker, I used to go into the staff room every break and lunch hour and write short stories, play Age of Empires, make gig posters etc in an attempt to “even” out the soul-crushing that was happening when I was dealing with customers. Every day that I worked there, I felt major conflict and pretty much hated every second of it. My direct boss at the time saw this, and one day said to me “we are not renewing your contract because you need to go to University.” At the time I was all “how dare you,” but after I graduated with my MA, I called her thanked her for saving my life.
So where was I going with this again? Man, I feel very loopy this morning. Like my nerves are shot or something, and I am one bad grade away from losing my mind completely. I wish I was at home right now, instead of shitty windowless office land.
I travelled to a mystical time zone / And I missed my bed / And I soon came home.
They said there’s too much caffine in your bloodstream / and a lack of real spice in your life / I said “leave me alone, because I’m alright dad, just suprised to still be on my own.” (The Smiths “A Rush and A Push and the Land is Ours”)